Text Me Maybe?

We held each other and I cried while he muttered his frustrations and adorably convoluted  insecurities to me. It was an emotionally confusing night and we were both in some weird negative limbo, weighing each other down. We tried to kiss, but he inhaled my tears and choked a little. “What if I drown in your tears?” I think he was joking and I laughed because we were so absurdly awkward that it was perfect. I kissed him back and he escorted me to the light rail in his gentlemanly way. He waited with me for the train and saw me off. That was the end of our relationship I guess. 

We texted each other the next day and decided to “take a break” I really miss him but I know it’s for the best. 

Peace to all the broken hearts. We’ll get our time someday.

Just a Full Fool

Last night the pain overcame me. I was afraid it was my acute UTI returning to haunt me. I couldn’t afford to miss any more work days so I finally went ahead to an ER. Thank God for Uber in the wee hours of the morning. As it turned out, my uti was still dead, but I was so constipated or full of shit (literally) that it was causing me extreme pain. I never knew constipation could get that bad! I’m home now, with a months supply of laxative in the form of indigestible plastic and a few days worth of antibiotics. It’s time to make a change in my lifestyle.

 Goodbye steaming, creamy mugs of coffee. Goodbye my sweet layers of chiffon interrupted only by heavenly butter orange cream and covered in that irresistible vanilla icing. Goodbye dark delicious chocolate in all forms. Goodbye cookies, how I will miss stuffing my face with you. Goodbye my friends. Our time has come to part ways. Maybe I will visit you now and then, but probably only on special occasions. I love you.

Sincerely, Muffinface